“Woman Seated Beneath a Tree” by Gustave Caillebotte
Some people take their troubles to a particular tree and gain refreshment and solace from its company; others derive inspiration from sitting at its foot or in its branches; still others have discovered that trees are truly mediators between the worlds, living bridges between our apparent world and the unseen realms of the otherworld. When we approach a tree, we need to slow down our breathing, slow down our rapid pace, our mental busyness, in order to be attuned to the spirit of the tree itself. … With our heart, we ask the tree to show us part of its nature. … We listen and give thanks. Even when we are just passing a tree, not visiting, we can still send out a greeting to it. ~ Caitlín Matthews (The Celtic Spirit: Daily Meditations for the Turning Year)
There are two healings: nature’s, and ours and nature’s. Nature’s will come in spite of us, after us, over the graves of its wasters, as it comes to the forsaken fields. The healing that is ours and nature’s will come if we are willing, if we are patient, if we know the way, if we will do the work. ~ Wendell Berry (This Day: Collected & New Sabbath Poems)
5.14.26 ~ Elm Grove Cemetery, Mystic, Connecticut photo by Larisa
It rained all day on May 14th. I didn’t take a single picture for the entire day. But I’m glad Larisa captured this last moment Finn had with his Grandpa, checking to see how heavy his ashes were. The two of them shared a birthday and were two peas in a pod. I will never forget how much fun it was to watch them playing together.
I chose to bury Tim’s ashes in Elm Grove Cemetery because it is located in the county where we lived for 47 years of our marriage, and because the plot was purchased by my 2nd-great-grandfather, who lies buried there with his own parents and great-grandparents and other relations. They all also lived in southeastern Connecticut, and there is still room there to bury ashes, so it seemed like a good choice. Tim & I took many walks in this beautiful cemetery, which sits on the banks of the Mystic River, just north of Mystic Seaport.
We may fear change or we may embrace it, but the planets turn, life goes on, the Great Cycles continue. These cycles move Nature and our lives through death and rebirth, through containment and release, through holding and letting go. The seed pod tightens and hardens around its precious cargo, then it breaks and releases the new life into the waiting earth. ~ Philip Carr-Gomm (Inspiration for Life, May 25, 2026)
image credit: Wolf Rock Nature Preserve website
Later in the day we all drove up to Wolf Rock in Mansfield, our northeastern Connecticut hometown, to scatter some of Tim’s ashes along with the remaining ashes he had kept of his brother, Toby. Still raining, it was a quarter-mile hike up very rocky and very muddy terrain through the woods to the glacial erratic where Tim and his brothers used to hang out as teens. Tim and Josh scattered some of Toby’s ashes here in December 2013, but now Dan, Matt and Jed had a chance to be here to scatter the rest of them.
The next day, on May 15th, we held an afternoon celebration of life at the Zbierski House at “our” little city beach. Besides the family, we were now joined by old friends and neighbors and lots of Tim’s buddies from the ham radio clubs he belonged to. It was wonderful. I had spent weeks working on a slide show of Tim’s life which was playing on a TV continuously and started many pleasant conversations and quite a few trips down memory lane…
photo by Jenn
Below is one of my favorite pictures, taken before the first heart attack and the battle with heart disease began. The fun, empty nest, middle-aged period of our lives. He was 51 and only just beginning to go gray…
Tim in our kitchen, 2004
Zbierski House at Eastern Point Beach ~ photo by Jenn
I feel more settled now that Tim’s ashes have been returned to the earth and that his family got to be together to say good-bye. The trip was grueling for me physically but somehow I made it and the emotional healing was worth the effort. I’m still incredibly sad and lonely for him but am learning how to carry the grief. How to take walks without him pointing things out to me…
I think my last hurdle will be resuming family history research. It’s going to be hard not having him in the next room, doing ham radio stuff, but always ready to drop everything when I came in to share new discoveries with him. I still have those last three boxes to go through… And several other projects waiting in line…
A lovely walk with friends down by the creek, dotted with fleeting spring ephemerals at every turn. The trees are leafing out and the sky was as blue as it gets.
star chickweed
violet
common whitetail dragonfly
People have no respect for impermanence. We take no delight in it; in fact, we despair of it. We regard it as pain. We try to resist it by making things that will last — forever, we say — things that we don’t have to wash, things that we don’t have to iron. Somehow, in the process of trying to deny that things are always changing, we lose our sense of the sacredness of life. We tend to forget that we are part of the natural scheme of things. ~ Pema Chödrön (When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times)
violet wood-sorrel
Virginia spring beauty
And for an everlasting Roof The Gambrels of the Sky — ~ Emily Dickinson (The Poems of Emily Dickinson, #466)
wild azalea
We are seeing, then, that our experience is altogether momentary. From one point of view, each moment is so elusive and so brief that we cannot even think about it before it has gone. From another point of view, this moment is always here, since we know no other moment than the present moment. It is always dying, always becoming past more rapidly than imagination can conceive. Yet at the same time it is always being born, always new, emerging just as rapidly from that complete unknown we call the future. Thinking about it almost makes you breathless. ~ Alan Watts (The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety)
bluets
Bolin Creek
green-and-gold (thanks to Nina for the identification)
bluets, anchored in moss, clinging to the creek bank
The green-and-golds and the violet wood-sorrels were new wildflowers for me.
When Nature made the bluebird she wished to propitiate both the sky and the earth, so she gave him the color of the one on his back and the hue of the other on his breast, and ordained that his appearance in spring should denote that the strife and war between these two elements was at an end. He is the peace-harbinger; in him the celestial and terrestrial strike hands and are fast friends. He means the furrow and he means the warmth; he means all the soft, wooing influences of the spring on the one hand, and the retreating footsteps of winter on the other. ~ John Burroughs (Wake-Robin)
10.7.25 ~ North Carolina Botanical Garden 37th Annual Sculpture in the Garden
So, we haven’t visited the botanical garden since the end of May, over four months ago. I wasn’t about to risk any more seed tick attacks. On this new try, I had Tim spray my shoes and pant legs with picaridin, giving up on previously tried deet and permethrin. So far, so good, but I’ve not been attacked in the month of October before so maybe I didn’t need it. Not taking any chances, though.
October skies aster
I didn’t get too many pictures of the sculptures this year. I guess I was starved for the beauty of flowers and berries!
deciduous holly
eastern carpenter bee
“Sonoran Sentinel” by Gary Taber A contemporary reimagining of a desert giant, drawing inspiration from the formidable presence of arid landscapes. ~ Gary Taber
wildflowers in the sassafras sapling grove (this spot always enchants me)
ditch daisy
asters
black-eyed Susan
When we got to the boardwalk going through the Coastal Plain Habitat we were amazed to find ourselves surrounded by a sea of black-eyed Susans, some of them quite tall, enjoying the sunshine.
Even though there were a lot of old favorites to delight my eyes, some new-to-me flowers presented themselves, sending me peeking into the greenery looking for id signs. If none could be located there was research to do at home. It felt good to get back out there and into the swing of things again.
“Marshland Morning” by Forrest Greenslade My egret reaches for the sky to greet the day. ~ Forrest Greenslade
coastal plain tickseed
boneset
blue mistflower
“Guardian of the Night” by Nana Abreu Taíno Moon Goddess symbolizes renewal, mystery, and unseen life forces, representing the feminine rhythm of existence while illuminating the shadowed side of nature. ~ Nana Abreu
phlox
Chinese aconite aka Carmichael’s monkshood
‘Pampas Plume’ celosia
“Opossum in the Cherry Orchard” by Bronwyn Watson Local opossum in early summer after an enjoyable night dining in a cherry tree. ~ Bronwyn Watson
5.10.25 ~ Carolina Beach State Park Carolina Beach, North Carolina
For our anniversary our daughter treated us to a weekend getaway at the shore, and our son and daughter-in-law came up from Georgia to join us!
Dima is still an avid climber and his children are likewise inclined
Things didn’t go exactly as planned. Tim’s shortness of breath has returned and now he has a cough that might also be related to his diastolic heart failure. (He’s had additional tests and the cardiologists still don’t have any answers.) So we knew ahead of time that he wouldn’t be able to take this long morning walk with me.
It wound up being an afternoon walk because I wound up sick with a flare-up that morning. I needed several hours to recover while the rest of the crew enjoyed visiting, and some time spent at a nearby playground and a walk down to the beach.
When I finally rallied Nate took some of us for a short ride in his huge truck — quite a thrill for me! Arriving at Carolina Beach State Park we then walked about three miles, looking for Venus flytraps in their native habitat and a 50′ high sand dune overlooking the Cape Fear River. The weather was lovely with comfortable temps and just a few drops of rain near the end.
spiderwort (?)
coastal plain forest, most of our walk looked like this
eastern prickly pear
an abundance of huge pine cones along the trails provided Finn with plenty of kicking options
The cones of longleaf pine are the largest of the southern pine and range in size from 5 to 12 inches in length. Because of their large size, only animals like the fox squirrel are sizable enough to manipulate and open the longleaf pine cones to eat the seeds before they fall to the ground. ~ The Longleaf Alliance website
eastern prickly pear
farkleberry
reaching the top of the 50′ Sugarloaf Dune
resting at the top of the dune, looking out over the Cape Fear River
a tree trunk that must have some story to tell…
The urge to run down the dune to the river proved to be irresistible for the kids, but Nate and I continued to rest at the top, and discussed possible routes back to the parking lot. Tried to get some pictures between all the trees with the zoom lens. Not sure if I’ve ever seen a dune covered with a forest before.
they spent quite a while down there
lichens and Spanish moss on some of the tree branches
We basically decided to retrace our steps and never did see any Venus flytraps. But, there were lots of pitcher plants in the area where the flytraps were supposed to be. And, as we got back close to the parking lot Finn spotted a broad-headed skink hiding in the leaves.
broad-headed skink
our ride
It was fun climbing up into the truck for the short ride back to the vacation rental. I was so happy to have shared this walk with my son who I don’t get to see often enough. A happy memory to cherish. Each one is precious, and all the more so the older we get.
Last night we attended a reception at the Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools district Visions Art Show with Kat, to see which of her creations her art teacher had submitted. This is Kat’s interpretation of Totoro, an animated nature spirit from one of her favorite movies, My Neighbor Totoro, a sweet Japanese animated fantasy film about two young sisters, Satsuki and Mei, who meet Totoro and other friendly spirits while their mother is sick and in the hospital for an extended stay.
After the others went outside to watch Finn practicing cartwheels on the lawn, Kat and I lingered in the hallways to view and appreciate all the other art on display, so much creativity and variety from kindergarten to high school. We were the last to leave!
These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time in them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. Before a leaf-bud has burst, its whole life acts; in the full-blown flower there is no more; in the leafless root there is no less. Its nature is satisfied, and it satisfies nature, in all moments alike. But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or, heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present above time. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (Self-Reliance)
