I can see this year is going to have a lot of first-time-without-Tim occasions, but I’m starting to embrace them with a little more openness, letting the feelings be. The grief isn’t as raw these days, the waves of it feel more gentle somehow. And so I had a nice time visiting the Coker Arboretum with Sally while the college students were away on spring break.
with small milkweed bug
I did not notice that bug when I was taking the picture – it often amazes what the camera finds for me. We lingered quite a while near this beautiful patch of starflowers.
This bunch of spirea bushes was breathtaking – the camera tried but couldn’t quite capture the beauty. We also lingered here.
I don’t see nondual spirituality as a path to perpetual bliss. From my perspective, being awake is about total intimacy with life as it is. It’s not about escape or turning away. And it’s not about trying to find an explanation either, because ultimately, we can’t. Everything is the way it is because the whole universe is the way it is.
~ Joan Tollifson
(Right Now, Just As It Is!, August 21, 2025, “The Play of Life”)
Our lives teach us who we are.
~ Salman Rushdie
(In Good Faith)
Every once in a while the energy of a certain tree will attract me. This swamp chestnut oak was huge! There was something wise and majestic about it. I couldn’t get far enough away to get all of it, so I tried to get half of it. Conversely, because there are signs everywhere warning us to stay on the paths, I couldn’t get close enough to touch it, which is what I very much wanted to do.
But then I thought of my old gull friend with the mangled leg, and how I fed off his wise energy even though I never touched him. So I looked up into the branches and with the zoom lens saw some new leaves and catkins. It made me think of the quote about being intimate with life as it is.
The last two pictures were actually taken on the UNC campus as we were walking back to the car. These special cherry trees were presented to the university by the Class of 1929, making them almost 100 years old!
So many beautiful blossoms on such a lovely warm spring day. And so many peaceful thoughts to bring home with me.
A lovely post of the joys of spring! Great quote, too. 💕
Thank you, Eliza! One of the themes of the equinoxes is balance and I loved how he saw it in the bluebird’s coloring. 💕
Lovely pictures. Growing up in NC, we had many flowering bushes in our yard. Bridal Wreath, Japonica, Forsythia, and, of course, azalea and two dogwood trees, but my favorite was Sweet-Breath-of-Spring. The flower was small but first to bloom with a heavenly smell. It meant winter was soon over. Thanks for that memory. I’m glad to hear that your grief is softening.
Thank you, Anna! I had to look up sweet breath of spring and found it as one of the common names of winter honeysuckle. It’s so pretty! I’ll have to keep an eye open for it here so I can get a whiff of that heavenly smell. Last year Tim bought a special fertilizer for our dogwood tree and finally, this spring it blossomed. I wish he had gotten to see the results of his efforts!
Ooh, Barbara, you’ve captured some gorgeous blooms … and that towering chestnut oak is just begging for somebody to wrap their arms around it in a hug! I’m delighted to hear the grieving process is coming along. I can’t imagine Tim would want you to be frozen in sadness for the rest of your life. It’s good you have friends and family to make sure you get outdoors in nature and actively look for the beauty and serenity there!
Thank you, Debbie! The size of the chestnut oak’s trunk was pretty impressive – much too big of a circumference to wrap these little arms around. Maybe two people could have, and Sally was tempted to break the stay-on-the-path rule, too. But it’s true that frequent foot traffic packs the soil which suffocates the roots, so we don’t want to be any part of that. I agree with you that Tim would be happy that I have family, friends and nature to buoy me along on this new journey.
Lovely captures of Spring blooming, Barbara! I hope this new season brings gentle moments of peace to your heart. 💞
Thank you, Donna! Those springtime gifts of gentle moments of peace are doing so much to heal this broken heart. 💙
Spring looks very pretty there in North Carolina Barbara. I remember you and Tim going here before when the students were on break. I am glad you and Sally share the same interests and are enjoying walks and Spring blooms and blossoms together and that you adapting to your new normal day by day. I love all the little Spring-y flowers you have shown us here. I thought the Spring Snowflakes were Snowdrops as they look similar, but as you point out the name, they are from Europe. I especially like the Japanese Flowering Cherry Tree – the blossoms sure are beautiful and flourishing almost a century later!
Interesting differences between the spring snowflakes and snowdrops, which are smaller and more dainty. Snowdrops have only one flower on a very short stem but the snowflakes have three to seven flowers on a taller stem. And the snowflakes have the green tips on the petals. I love the flowering cherry tree’s double blossoms, too. Quintessential spring!!! It was interesting going with Sally because she parked on a different street and we entered the arboretum from a different gate so Tim & I never would have seen these cherry blossoms on the campus. It was like seeing the same place with very different eyes.
Yes, I thought the spring snowflakes were a prettier flower with those green markings and more blooms … the snowdrops kind of pale in comparison to the snowflakes. Nothing is prettier in Spring than all the blossoming trees and you always hope that once they are out in bloom, a big wind doesn’t blow all the blossoms onto the ground. Barbara, you ended up getting bonus blossoms from this visit, so I can see how it would be a totally new experience for you. I’m glad you and Sally are venturing out and enjoying Spring before you are relegated to inside due to the heat and humidity.
Gorgeous- I love the birdie and the Spring Snowdrop?
Thank you! The bird is an American robin, different from the European robin as I discovered when I went to Ireland. Snowdrops and spring snowflakes are easily confused but they are different species – snowdrops are smaller and bloom earlier, one flower per stem. Spring snowflakes are larger and bloom later and have 3-7 flowers on a taller stem. Hope that helps.
Hmm. Yes it does. Thanks for the explanation.
You’re welcome!
Thanks for the explanation. Those flowers don’t grow herey in the tropics!
So pretty! Love all these signs of spring. Still waiting here in MA, but there are small sprouts around. And I saw lots of red wing blackbirds when I visited my mom on Cape Cod last weekend.
Thank you, Karma! I remember how exciting it was when I’d see skunk cabbage starting to sprout. They don’t have that down here. 😉 I’ll be visiting the Cape in May – it’s been 9 years…